July: A Memoir

FILM OF THE MONTH: INCEPTION

I'm sure every review of Inception reads the same- Inception is a slick, intelligent, visually dynamic and multi-faceted piece of cinema. Well, I'm here to pretty much confirm all of the above.

The basic plotline for those of you who don't know is this: Leonardo DiCaprio is troubled. He's banned from America (where his kids live), his wife is dead, said dead wife persistently sabotages his work (trying to steal corporate secrets from peoples' dreams), and as a result, his company is trying to kill him because he's a failure. Now, he's got to work for a guy he doesn't like or trust to pull off the near-impossible feat of inception (planting a thought in someone's head to make them think it's their own). 

Don't worry though, it's not all doom and gloom- I, at least, found the stunning dreamscapes much more engaging than the doom and gloom. The scenes where Ellen Page bends Paris with her mind and the floating hallway fight in particular will leave you breathless.

This film isn't perfect- the supporting cast, although featuring big names, were largely undeveloped as characters- but it's pretty damn close.

ALBUM OF THE MONTH: UNITED NATIONS- NEVERMIND THE BOMBINGS, HERE'S THE SIX FIGURES

Ok, so technically this is an EP, but it would be a crime not to share this with you. Why? Because United Nations has the potential to be a post-hardcore fan's wet dream. I say 'has the potential' because the line-up is shrouded in mystery. The only known member (Geoff Rickly from Thursday) is rumoured to be accompanied by the likes of Daryl Palumbo (Glassjaw/ Head Automatica), Ben Koller (Converge), Jonah Bayer (Lovekill) and Eric Cooper (Made Out of Babies)- a formidable list to make even the most casual of hardcore fans salivate.

And as for the music, well, it's immense. This EP may only last 12 minutes, but it carries the clout of a much longer album. Prepare for twelve minutes of face-melting, ass-kicking, violent, messy noise- and prepare to love every second of it.

CELEBRITY SCANDAL OF THE MONTH: AnCo SHOWDOWN

Finally, a worthwhile artist mired in rumours for me to talk about! Basically, Avey Tare of Animal Collective is set to release a solo album 'Down There'. 'Big fucking deal,' I hear you cry. But his band mate Panda Bear was already set to release a solo album entitled 'Tomboy' at around the same time. This has prompted hipsters everywhere to jump to the conclusion that these two are no longer 'chill', and are declaring war on each other. Yeah, I know, this isn't really a story- two guys are putting out music and hip kids are turning it into a Twitter sensation. Hipsters are so fucking weird.
Also noteworthy: A bird shat on the Kings of Leon bassist and he threw a bitch fit or something. It's been a slow news month, k?

FASHION DESIGNER OF THE MONTH: SCARLET ROOM

From blog to fully-fledged store in two years, the Scarlet Room is a one-stop shop for beautiful accoutrements. Catering specifically for students, the Scarlet Room is both effortlessly chic and magnificently unique. Whether you're after beautiful lace-collared blouses or the perfect pair of ripped jeans, you'll find what you're looking for. And, unlike most of the beautiful collections I fall hopelessly in love with, they offer student clothes at student prices. The dresses above, for instance, mostly fall under the $30 bracket. Snap 'em up quick, girls.

POSTS OF THE MONTH

The Bands of Scott Pilgrim- As the anticipated release date of 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' draws ever closer, here's our guide to the bands- both real and fictional- you'll meet in the film, including the likes of Beck, Broken Social Scene and Metric.

10 Songs For a Way Cooler Prom- Yes it's that time of year again; that time where we get all dressed up, pay extortionate amounts to get in and spend the night trying (and failing) to dance in high heels and long dresses. If you want to make your prom more bearable, Charles has the solution- a killer playlist.

Underrated Albums of 2009- If you're not sick of '09 toplists, you should check out this retrospective list of some musical treasures released in 2009 that perhaps didn't receive the acclaim they deserve.

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10 Songs For A Way Cooler Prom.

Firstly, hey y'all, long time no speak. I've been doing exams and stuff, but that shit's over now.
Now it's time to prom. Unfortunately, this usually means shyly shuffling your feet to the 'hottest' songs of the last year or so, and by 'hottest' this usually means shit. Of course, there will no doubt be some classics mixed in there, but again, I use the term 'classics' very lightly. As a remedy for what will no doubt be a terrible evening filled with dumb ass girls pretending to be wasted on one glass of champagne and therefore people actually paying attention to all the nerdy girls, who actually turn out to be pretty hot (pretty sure this is the storyline to a million films as well as a Taylor Swift video), I have compiled a list of alternative prom songs that you can wish the DJ will play or maybe just have your own alternative prom night by yourself. Of course, you could actually go to your own prom and ask your DJ to play them, but let's be honest - everyone would hate you. Even more than they already do, and, if you're like me, then that's definitely saying something. So, without further ado, here are my 10 songs for a better, alternative and all round cooler prom:

10. Lady Gaga ft. Beyoncé - Telephone
Now, this might not be as 'out there' as you may have been expecting, but fear not - there is a reason. Starting with one of the few pop songs out there that are actually any good, you can gently ease your prom audience into the flow without completely losing them. They might even hang around for the second song, if you're lucky.
9. Yeasayer - O.N.E.
Y'all just need something good to dance to, and O.N.E. is the perfect song to demonstrate some killer moves. Lyrical content is not so important, so just make sure you don't sing this one directly to your date. Unless you don't like them, in which case anything goes.
8. The Hold Steady - First Night
It's time for that first slow song of the evening, and without a doubt this song was pretty much made for proms. In fact, you could pretty much choose any song from The Hold Steady's back catalogue, or even better - just have a Craig Finn themed prom. His lyrics deserve a dedication of some sort.
7. Animal Collective - My Girls
If you really wanna tell your girl that you just wanna take care of her, then there is surely no better song than the alt anthem 'My Girls'. And, if she really is worth it, then I'm sure she'll appreciate it just as much as you do, and eventually she might even walk down the aisle to it at your wedding.
6. The Knife - Heartbeats
A modern dancefloor classic, surely? Lyrically beautiful, a funky beat and the ability to make any true appreciator of contemporary Scandinavian electronic music get down and dance. And maybe you'll just find another true appreciator and bond. A bit like the two characters in of Montreal's 'The Past Is A Grotesque Animal', but that's a whole different beast...
5. of Montreal - The Past Is A Grotesque Animal
So it's the halfway point in your evening's entertainment, and now it gets serious. Of course it's not realistic, playing an 11 minute song that references a book of erotic three way fantasies at your prom, but hey, sometimes things are better drifting into the realms of fantasy. To quote this very song: "We want our film to be beautiful not realistic." And that's one of the things that makes this song so great - I can totally relate to that.
4. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Well c'mon, it's probably the last chance you're ever gonna get to Rick Roll all your high school friends. And of course those douches that you hate. And that's gotta be satisfying. Just watch them rage.
3. Pavement - Spit On A Stranger
This indie classic was used in the popular American sitcom How I Met Your Mother, so perhaps there's a 0.0001% chance that one person other than you at your real prom will know it, and, if they're a cute girl, then I think that's a risk I'm willing to take.
2. The Magnetic Fields - Nothing Matters When We're Dancing
If you haven't heard this, then listen to it now. And pay attention to the lyrics too. For once I'm taking off my silly hat (my metaphorical silly hat of course, as you'll never tear my real silly hat away from me) and switching into serious mode for a second - this song is tear-inducing, so have those handkerchiefs ready, because this is one song that I would die for to have at my prom, and the one song I would hate too for having, as ultimately it would result in me sobbing my eyes out like the quivering emotional wreck I am out into my prom date's shoulder. Hopefully she'd understand.
1. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
This one again might seem strange and just what you might expect from a normal prom and, well, that's because it is. Of course I genuinely expect this song to be at my prom and every prom of this year and last year and next year too. I expect it to be at shitty proms where dumb ass girls think they're wasted on their complementary glass of champagne and I expect it to be at my own fantasy prom where everyone loves a good singalong to Girls and The Smiths alike. Why? Because this song is probably the song of our generation. I don't know any song that gets as many people from every background imaginable singing in unison together quite like this gem from an average American indie band. But for whatever reason, it has that effect, and any prom of this generation just wouldn't be the same without it. Read More......

May: A Memoir

TV SHOW OF THE MONTH: Lost
Six years ago, JJ Abrams pitched an idea for a TV show to ABC. He said the show, whilst having an overall story arc, would be comprised of easy to follow story lines and allow viewers to dip in and out each episode with ease, not needing to know what came before it to understand what was happening. If you watched Lost, whether it was just one episode you found yourself not knowing what the hell was going on, or whether you were a devoted fan for the past six seasons, you would know that JJ Abrams lied. And I, like the millions of like-minded Lost fans around the world, am thankful for it. First Abrams, then Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof took us on an adventure of epic proportions, in the truest sense of the word. They made us laugh, cry, theorise for hours over what was in the hatch, who the Others were and whether Tom Friendly was gay. So, when it came to the finale, many of us were on edge over whether it would be a fitting finale. It was. They gave it full closure, but still left plenty open for interpretation, and whilst everyone had been fretting over the mythology and possible clashes of alternate realities, they made us realise one of the true reasons why Lost was as successful as it was: the characters. And it gave them just the send off they deserved.

-Charles

CELEBRITY SCANDAL OF THE MONTH: Hayley Williams Gets Naked!
So, this feature died a few months ago, but I have decided to resurrect it, because it’s awful and fun.
Tweens everywhere were having a Riot! as a topless snap of Paramore’s lead singer, Hayley Williams, emerged on Twitter. You could say we saw the previously wholesome and Christian Hayley with Brand New Eyes- ok, I’ll stop now. However, a few questions have been raised:

1. Hayley claims her Twitter account was ‘hacked’- that may be, but how did the alleged hacker get hold of the picture in the first place? Could it be a little bit of Paramore-produced salacious gossip to keep the wemo-train rolling after we all got fed up of ‘The Only Exception’?
2. Surely Hayley should know that lying on your back is the most unflattering tit pic pose ever, as said mammary glands have a tendency to roam to the sides?
3. Does this mean redheads are cool again, and I no longer have to live in fear of MIA exterminating me?

-Eileen

FILM OF THE MONTH: Prince of PersiaThis month saw the Disney video turned movie hit the scenes and man, was it awesome. In the movie, Dastan, played by the uber sexy Jake Gyl-something, is taken from the streets and turned into a prince. His country, Persia, are known for their miltary prowess and guerilla tactics attack the holy city of Alamut, overseen by Princess Tamina's, played by my favourite actress Gemma Aterton. Course, things are never simple and after the intinal celebration of Alamut's fall, things start to go terrible wrong. Cue a magical dagger, orstich races, poisoned cloaks and lots of sand. All the ingredients to a fantastic movie, I must say. The Prince of Persia, is a movie of hair breath fight scenes, amazing CGI, fantasticly interesting plot twists and a love affair that will made you swoon, not vomit. Oh and lots of sand.

-Chloe

ALBUM OF THE MONTH: High Violet

‘High Violet’; The National’s fifth album, was released on May 10th. Pitchfork reviewed it as "the sound of a band taking a mandate to be a meaningful rock band seriously," giving it a score of 8.7 out of 10, only 0.1 marks higher than their most well known album ‘Boxer.' To be honest, my expectations for this album were unreasonably high, due to a love for ‘Boxer,' leaving me slightly disappointed. However, in its own right ‘High Violet’ is an outstanding album from an outstanding artist, and almost certainly deserves a place in this year’s album charts.

-Tri

FASHION DESIGNER OF THE MONTH: WhitIf I (God forbid) end up having to put in my nine to five in some office somewhere, Whit would be my first choice for smart yet awesome attire. Whit is the debut line from Whitney Pozgay (Kate Spade’s niece), and is said to be influenced by Henry Darger, Nouvelle Vague and Birkin. Combining playful with timeless, polka dots with silk screen and classic cuts with kooky headwear, every piece in this collection is a show stopper. Grab it from July here.

-Eileen

DANCE OF THE MONTH: Diversity

This month’s best dance routine comes from the first semi final of this year’s ‘Britains Got Talent’. Last years winners; Diversity, graced our screens with yet another outstanding performance that shows their...well, their diversity. The things most notable about this routine, other their trademark imaginative choreography, are the way they combine shapes, are always in unison when dancing together, and the little kid with curly hair – so talented and so cute!

-Tri

POSTS OF THE MONTHZooey Deschanel- Charles shares his fool-proof plan to finally get close to the girl of his dreams. To follow this plan, you will need to buy fake sideburns and partake in a bit of good old-fashioned breaking and entering. Trust us, it’s as creepy as it sounds.

Random Thing I Want: One Sketch a Day Journal- So far, in her ‘RTIW’ series, Chloe has brought us edible facial hair, poultry, and launched a campaign to prevent cruelty to lobsters. This edition shares a common ATS love- notebooks.

5 Vintage E-Bay Sites- E-Bay isn’t just a domain for used lawn furniture and tat you couldn’t flog at a flea market. A select few sell exquisite vintage clothes, and Eileen has trawled through the used bathrobes and authentic Shatner toupees to bring you the best of the best.

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What Will You Do When 'Lost' Is Over??

With the finale to everyone's favourite TV show almost over, I am kinda sad that this is it. I wonder if ever again there will be a TV show that makes us love/loathe/grow emotionally attached to an island only for it to just disappear completely at the end of season 4, leaving two seasons left of the show where presumably nothing happens, so they have to dream up some crazy ass "alternate reality" to make up for the fact that they forgot where they put the island.
What will people do when it's over?
Well, I will probably cry a bit, then after a while I will "get over it" as it's "only a TV show" and move on with my life. But for some people it's so much more than that. For Matthew Fox, who plays Sawyer, he will probably go looking 4 a new job to do, probably another one where he pretends to be the leader guy and bag "some hot stuff". Evangeline Lilly, who stole the role of Kate from Sun, will have to find another show to whore herself about, as she will no longer be working with/fucking Sawyer wannabes Charlie, Faraday and maybe Hurley too. And Jack will have to stay on 4eva and protect the island. Does this mean that 'Lost' won't be over for him?? Will he get to "watch" it permanently, whilst maybe protecting the island from "the real Sawyer"? And what about Desmond? Will 'Lost' ever be over for him, or will he have weird dreams/consciousness altering visions about the island for the rest of his life?
Will Ji Yeon and Aaron get together and be the new Usher + Justin Bieber??
Should Benjamin Linus have been cast as Hurley?
See you in another famous TV show, brother.
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