5 Fashions: "Burlesque at the Beach"

Yes, it's coming up to the time of year that pale people live in fear of: it's summer. And I'm living in fear.
Y'see, I'm pale. Very, very pale. I've been dubbed 'The Corpse Bride' before, no joke. And each year, I aspire to the tanned aesthetic; all I want to do is swan around in brightly coloured bikinis and kaftans and the like, but it all looks very ridiculous without that tan.
Well, this year, I have learnt my lesson- no more fluorescent bikinis; gone are the kaleidoscopic array of flip-flops; instead, I am embracing a look I like to call 'Burlesque at the Beach'- because even burlesque dancers have to brave the Sun occasionally. I shall turn my full attention to finding classic-looking beach pieces, and will not allow myself to mourn over the beautiful Topshop magenta bikini I will never get to wear. Anyway, here a few pieces to give you the gist:

1. Vamp Bandeau Top and Skirted Bottom, Jantzen
Although the model of this bikini is the sort of tanned beauty that could look fabulous in anything, just imagine how perfect a pale, dark-haired minx might look in this vampish and oh-so-sexy bikini. At the same time, it can be worn by people who don't look like vampires, which is a bonus. If you like red, you should also check out...






2. Bill Mio Halter, Norma Kamili
This halter style is classy, but still flashes a bit of flesh. It's available in an array of colours (black, chocolate, cinder (grey, basically), olive, pink red and white), and has Kamili's 'try-before-you-buy' service (they send you the item, you have 2 days to try it on and test it out before deciding whether or not you want to buy it). However, it does cost $350, so maybe start saving now. For something a little less classic, try...





3. Abstract Nautical Print Swimsuit, Michael Kors
This cute and kooky swimsuit is perfect for days when you don't need to Sexy-Dial turned up 'Smokin' Hot'. However, it is Michael Kors, so once again, a hefty price tag might follow. For the perfect beach clothes (not just swimsuits and bikinis), head to...








4. 'Summer 2' Catalogue, Alexandra Cassaniti
I can't mention just one piece from this collection- the entire collection is almost too perfect for those of us who are sadly lacking a perfect tanned, curvy beach body. Her designs are cute and fashionable, yet look hardy enough so that you could actually wear them at the beach without worrying about ruining your outfit. I also like the fact that the collection isn't purely focused around swimsuits and bikinis- it can be so difficult sometimes to find clothes you can wear at the beach- because, as any pale person knows, there are times when we have to cover up to save ourselves from being frazzled by sunburn. For a pretty black swimsuit to match this pretty black apparel, look no further than...




5. Water Ballet Halter- Anothropologie
This beautiful, simple one-piece is a must for any would-be beach siren. With padded bikini, stomach-slimming panels and a puffy skirt, this swimsuit was engineered to accentuate the classic burlesque body.