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Monday, April 26, 2010

5 Chicks in Bands That Are Cooler Than You

Following on from Chloe's and Charlie's list of gay crushes, I thought it might be nice to talk about the ridiculously cool/sexy chicks who don't take centre stage. They spend every day on tour cooped up in vans with a bunch of sweaty dudes, and don't even get the credit of front women such as Emily Haines or Hayley Williams in similar set-ups.

ANISSA RODRIGUEZ- EYES SET TO KILLHardcore band Eyes Set to Kill started life as an all-girl band. These days, the majority of the band are guys. Not only must bassist Anissa co-habitate with three broody-looking dudes with asymmetrical haircuts, but she also faces constant upstaging from her sister, lead singer Alexia. Seriously- if you type ‘Anissa Rodriguez’ into Google Images, it says ‘Did you mean Alexia Rodriguez’?
Yet, Anissa if definitely the cooler Rodriguez sister, because she’s smokin’ hot and has a dog who wears sunglasses. What could possibly be more awesome, really?

JONIE BROECKER- TELEKINESIS!Keeping up the theme of sibling rivalry, Jonie plays bass for indie rocker Michael Benjamin Lerner (aka Telekinesis!), whilst her brother David plays electric, acoustic AND bass. Blatantly the favourite child.
Yet, you know in ‘Juno’ when she wants her bastard spawn to be adopted by someone ‘with a cool Asian girlfriend who rocks out on the bass guitar’? Well, that’s pretty much Jonie in a nutshell- and she does it all in cute vintage attire. So, if the whole touring thing leaves her feeling lonely, there’s always a 15-year-old irresponsible pregnant rock fan somewhere ready to give her some babies.

SANDY MIRANDA- FUCKED UPPrimary reason why Sandy Miranda is cool? Well, aside from the fact she has the most perfect ‘girl-next-door-in-a-B-movie’ name ever, she’s also in hardcore punk band Fucked Up, who are so utterly destructive it’s a wonder they’re still together. She also happens to collect vintage dresses, be a pretty good photographer and have really cool glasses. Worship her.

VICTORIA ASHER- COBRA STARSHIPIt really is a wonder why Cobra Starship had to rope tone-deaf twiglet Leighton Meester into their ‘Good Girls Go Bad’ video when they had this sexy chica in the band. Aside from being gorgeous, she also plays the keytar. Yes, really. She also directs music videos and adverts, and studied film at NYU. A pretty cool cat, all in all.

KIM GORDON- SONIC YOUTHMadonna got you thinking that 50-somethings must automatically be seriously un-cool? Trust me, Kim Gordon will change your mind. I’m sure she needs no introduction as the painfully hip bassist and occasional vocalist of noise rock group Sonic Youth. Yet, on top of that, she’s a director, actress, and artist. And she has a daughter called Coco, which fucking rocks.


Chloe said...

that womans mouth is ridiculously huge.

Charles said...

Holy shit fourth one down is hot.

And Kim Gordon is one of the coolest girls ever.

Tri said...

Is that just because you can see down her top Charlie...

Charles said...

Fourth one down? Yeah, probz.

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