But not just any old lobster. Oh no, that would be too simple. I want the three lobsters I met about 30 minutes ago in the restaurant I just went to. They looked so sad, their beady eyes staring up at me and the thought that they were someone's dinner made me so unhappy. Except I can't afford to buy three expensive lobsters, no matter how much I want to free them and send them back to their lobster families. Lobsters mate for life and it breaks my heart to think there's a mate out in the big ocean searching for its lover. Screw the whales, the polar bears, the rhinos, SAVE THE LOBSTERS!
(Why do I publicise my weirdness on the internet?)