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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Eileen's 'Could-Go-Either-Way' Upcoming Film Picks: The Twilight Showdown

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Welcome to another slice of 'Eileen's 'Could-Go-Either-Way' Upcoming Film Picks! Let me break it down for you:
'Could Go Either Way':(adjective):1. A term used to described an object, situation or idea with an indefinite outcome; that is to say, the reception and consequences of such an object, situation or idea, could be really awesome or remarkably shitty.
In this instalment, it's the battle of the Twilight thespians- Kristen Stewart vs. Robert Pattinson. Not that it matters, because Twilight's for pussies, and it's likely that neither of them will outshine their co-star Anna Kendrick's performance in 'Up in the Air'. Anyways:

1. THE RUNAWAYS
What is it, and Why Should I Care?: 'The Runaways' is a biopic of the rock band by the same name, charting their rise and fall, and in particular the relationship between band members Joan Jett (Kristen Stewart) and Cherie Currie (Dakota Fanning)- which apparently, has been quite lesbo'd up for the film.

Hell Yes:
1. Leather, lingerie, lesbianism. Need I say anymore?
2. The Runaways are a pretty decent band, a did a lot for women in music, and the soundtrack in general looks awesome.
3. I'm quite into my rise-and-fall films. You know the sort- band gets successful, fames goes to their heads, they nosedive into a pile of their own shame in some drug-and-debauchery related scandal. Think 'Lords of Dogtown'- create radical new ways of skating, get really famous, burn out, shave head and watch best friend die of cancer. Yeah, those films are great.

Hell No:
1. I've heard Dakota Fanning's version of 'Cherry Bomb'- let's just say she ain't no Cherie Currie.
2. It's a film about a 70's rock band, so we can expect sex-a-plenty. Whilst this in itself doesn't seem like a downside, I'd like to remind you all that Dakota Fanning is fifteen. Yes, fifteen. Thus, if the rumours about a scene in which she plays with her, umm, Fanning whilst clutching a picture of Farrah Fawcett are true, there is some truly illegal shit going down in this film.
3. A lot of rockstar biopics can be quite self-indulgent/ inaccurate/ godawful.


2. REMEMBER ME

What Is It, And Why Should I Care?: 'Remember Me' is a romantic drama in which a young ingenue helps a troubled, rebellious, generically handsome stranger heal the scars of his troubled/rebelled/generically handsome past. And, as for why you should care: well, you probably shouldn't.
Hell Yes:
1. I like the stock 'ingenue' character, Emilie de Ravin. She's in Lost.
2. It was mildly satisfying to see 'R-Patz' get all roughed up in the trailer.
3. Ok, I've got nothing.

Hell No:
1. 'I'm Robert Pattinson- I'm deep and profound. Girls find me attractive, but I don't play up to that- I only took my top off and bared my weirdly purple nipples to the world in New Moon because that's what my character would've done. I spent two weeks in a forest to find my inner Cullen'- what a douche, really.
2. This entire film has been done a million times before.
3. Who even thought 'romantic dramas' were a viable concept for a film? All people do in these movies is cuddle and weep. And then cuddle. But then they just weep some more. The only romantic drama I can think of that didn't make me want to tear my eyes out was 'Hallam Foe', and that was because the 'troubled' lead was homeless, Scottish, and banged his stepmom.

8 comments:

EMMA said...

OMG IT'S CLAIRE

Eileen said...

It is indeed :)
This film has cheapened her for me!

Donald said...

but Emilie De Ravin is nothing without her Australian accent!

Charles said...

Claire is overrated.

Tri said...

All this time I've been thinking his name is 'Robert Patterson'. Thankyou for clearing that one up my lovely =).

Anonymous said...

pretty sure you read too much Vice.

Eileen said...

Admittedly, I do read waay too much Vice, but I was aware of these two films before they featured them, promise :)
There's no way anything Joan Jett-related would slip past my radar...
-Eileen

Anonymous said...

Although I disprove of your slating of Twilight - what person doesn't love a trashy romance film degrading all women's position in a relationship?! - I do like this blog.

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