US Singles Chart - Music From Across The Pond

You may remember a few months ago I took on the UK singles chart, explaining in my opinion why I think they got where they did. I would like to retract my statement about Lady Gaga from that by the way. But anyway, its that time again, but this time I'm taking on the land of the free, the home of the American dream, Uncle Sam's kingdom. That's right, the US of A. Bring it on bitch!

1. Rihanna - Rude Boy
Ohmydeargodilovethissong. Its absolutely fantastic. But then again I have always loved Rihanna, ever since the bass of 'Pon De Replay from the speakers' first flowed through my sneakers. (See what I did there, I don't even wear sneakers, well, trainers as we Brits call them, its a right pain when i want to go to the gym...) This song is a great song to dance to, its got that thumping repetitive beat that makes drunken people think they can move to. I tend to flick my hair around a lot to it. But the whole song is about sex. "Come on rude, rude boy, can you get it up? Come on rude, rude boy, is you big enough?" No wonder the album is called 'Rated R'. And whilst its nice to see a woman asserting her sexuality, its worrying that a large amount of Rihanna's fan base will be young girls, can you imagine your 11 year old sister belting out these lyrics? No, I didn't think so either.
2. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
I must say this one stumped me. Who the fuck are/is Lady Antebullum? Like a new more complicatedly named Lady Gaga or what? So I stumbled over to my beloved youtube (over all not too happy about it, seeing as I'm currently listening to the new Laura Marling album) to listen. Is it just me or does the guy on the left look like a hairy version (oh shit, don't show him to Eileen) of that guy from N Sync, Lance Bass and do they other two look like extras from Hollyoaks? But no, they don't sound anything like N Sync, they just sound like Taylor Swift singing with Miley Cyrus' dad. Not sure it would sell over here, but then again Miley and Taylor have done quite well. Its very country and western, something American's love, something I'm not over all impressed with and this song isn't a lyrical masterpiece. But its a sweet love song, that's my only explanation.

. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz ft Ludacris
An English R&B artist breaking America? I'm impressed. He has done what Robbie Williams so many others failed to do... (and hopefully what Cheryl Cole also fails to do, lets not spread that torture even further) Although this song is all about being a player. I'm not sure why people would want to identify with a song which repeats the line "I'm only going to break, break your heart". Nice guy. But it features a big named rapper, which seems the general way to break America. And its the repetitive, R&B sound that the masses like. It makes me want to break his heart... but in a more sadistic way. But hey, gotta hand it to the guy. He broke America.

4. Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas
WHY? WHY? WHY? I loved 'I've got a feeling' and 'Meet me halfway', but why do they feel the need to ruin Fergie's already shitty voice by making it robotic. It seems like Will.I.Am makes the rest of his band mates into cyborgs and keeps his own voice completely natural, surely that's a bit mean? But this song has a thumping bassline which the uneducated music listeners seem to like. And maybe they like appalling english to? I mean what the fuck does 'Imma Be' even mean? It it some other language? The language of the peas with black eyes? I have no clue, I just know I don't like it.

>5. Nothin' On You - B.O.B & Bruno Mars
Firstly, why do they feel the need to get rid of the 'g' in nothing. Is that asserting there gangster powers or something? I was taught that proper english will get you everywhere, but apparently spelling like a twat gets you onto spots number 4 and 5 on the US singles chart. Also, B.O.B? You're name is Bob, deal with it. Unless its something different, cos again, I don't have the faintest idea who these people are. To Youtube once more! The songs quite nice, but its very much like every other R&B song, it features a gorgeous black guy with a lovely voice and a less gorgeous rapper and they sing about love. Come on guys, be original. I heard this years ago when Neyo was so sick of love songs and Chris Brown wanted the lovy-dovey kiss kiss.

What can I derive from this information? Americans like R&B/rap music. In fact number 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 24, 27, 31, 33 and 35 are also all R&B/rap songs. At least America's consistent.